out of focus

The high wall at the rear of the garden had been adorned with a selection of unmemorable graffitti, strangely appropriate tags by SHRUB and a disappointing Quixotic horse and rider announcing the Wild West by Focus. They are gone and something new decorates the wall.

Towering over the garden on a background of primrose yellow are now three simple figures. At a distance I find them cheerful and charming. Closer the paint runs are clear and they are melancholic and tear-stained.

I like them.

why i am a pig

or rather a wild boar.

It is nice to see that this winter a new robin has decided to stake out a territory in the garden. Visitors often tell me about their special relationships with friendly robins in their own gardens. I don't usually dissillude them about this but I am more pragmatic about the birds desire for companionship and am free of any 'mister bluebird on my shoulder' Disney expectations. I know I am simply a blundering beast, just another great hairy wildboar rooting through the forest, turning over leaves, twigs and soil exposing worms and grubs for the bird to dart in and snaffle.

I feel used!

the bench is dead!

The green bench nestling in the arms of the tortured fig has probably been the favourite bench in the garden. In summer the leaves of the fig enclose it and the apparent privacy encourages all sorts of business - it is actually overlooked by the Pendrell ladies who inform me of all the fun in jaded tones (they really have seen it all before).

During its long tenure in the garden it has collapsed and been cleverly re-built time and time again to evolve from traditional park bench to a battered green truncation. It has finally succumbed to the abuses of garden life and is now beyond repair.

The joints have rotted from within and there are concerns that some overly-nourished amorous couple could become injured. Despite my gut feeling that a concealed camera would be the better option, reaping financial rewards with a 'You've Been Framed' payment of £250, I have been advised by the garden management committee that it has to go.